I place my flag up in your heart,
you let the winds come tear it apart.

I live the sea life. Call me the lone shark.

In our dreams we're still screaming.

And I'm bleeding in front of all your friends,
I pray you'll scrub the stains.

What are men to rocks and mountains?

Help, I'm alive.

We're not sleeping at the wheel,
the wheel is turning a machine that kills, for us.

Tell me what you know about dreaming..

Break on through to the other side.

Falling from the sky that should have burned.

A white blank page
and a swelling rage.

Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.

For me, this bottle of wine
Is to slow down my mind
And forget the things that I knew, I knew.

Reborn

A new sun rose today.
A new face stares back at me from my bathroom mirror.
She looks tired and sad, but there is a glow.
There is warmth to be shared.
There is a life to be lived.
There is nothing, but myself, holding me back, now.

I'm losing half of my heart,
but I'm gaining the world and all of it's possibilities.

Solitude

I want you.
I need you.

Glass

Another winter; another case of seasonal depression.
Trying to keep the things, that make me happy, close.

I hate living in someone's house.
I love beer and
oblivion (meaning the beyond. Baby.)

Death in Reality?

I do not feel alive.
I feel as if I'm floating down a gentle stream;
going nowhere, doing nothing.

The cure? Live.

Something.

One day I climbed out of my bitter shell.
I'm not entirely sure when or how it happened, it did.
My hatred died for the people that didn't deserve the hate.
My love grew for those deserving of such love.
My smile bloomed into something real.

I'm scheduled for four classes this fall; panic attack soon.
With the stress of moving, school, acceptance, and work,
I've taken to a minor affair with pot.
It'll pass.
Do I want it to?
What do I want?

Bottom of The World

The violin experience is progressing, steadily. I'm glad I decided to pick it up because it feels so natural, smooth, deep, and poetic. It feels second nature.

"Hustle Rose" has been on repeat for me. It's by far my favorite Metric song. I'm not entirely sure what it is but the song is curing something in me.

My weekend is going to be spent recovering and sleeping.

Why the alter ego?

Because I feel split in two.
The new and old [mes] are colliding and spinning out of control.

My hair is a mess.. I think I hear birds nesting within the tangles.

Today I'm reading about Confucius.
Today I meditated on Nine of Fire: Eye of Fire.